How can I get rid of this fear related to Ramadan?

I'm getting extremely scared... because this is my first Ramadan, I guess. Even today during Taraveeh, I was praying with little concentration. I hate it when the mosque is full...it's full of annoying people who keep staring at you and people you never see throughout the year - hypocrites. I know it's very wrong of me to think like that, but they give out negative vibes that affect me. I'm a super duper mega introvert. I can't do stuff when lots of people are around - even simple things like Wodhu. I'm very scared. Sahoor in about 2 hours' time. What is fasting like? I've always wanted to keep voluntary fasts, but this obligatory one is hard. I'm going to be killed. By thirst. And my growling stomach will kill me too. And people... I suck. I'm one of the biggest losers and sinners in this world. Everyone is rejoicing, welcoming this month with a smile on their faces, and I'm not even ready to welcome it - I want a 30th of Sha'ban. I need more time. I'm feeling cold. I need warmth. A blanket. More time. To relax. Everyone has more knowledge than I do. Even the hypocrites pray well. And now I don't feel like praying or reciting the Qur'an. I wasn't praying properly tonight. Nor was I reciting the Qur'an properly. I just wanted to get away from the mosque. I don't like Eid either. I know that by the end of this month, everybody will be praying for the advent of Eid, and I'll be wishing for a 30th of Ramadan... but right now...I'm scared like crazy. The mosques will be full. If my Wodhu breaks, I'll have to leave, and then I'll get no place to pray. I don't like too many people all doing the same thing. I love brotherhood, but not a crowd. This is killing me. What is fasting like? I suck as a Muslim - I know that. I feel that Islam is a very difficult religion. There are so many things that you have to like and have to do even if you don't want to, otherwise you'll be damned for ever. I love fasting, but I just don't like the buzz of this month. I'd prefer a quiet month like Jumadi al-Thaniya, when no one really cares about praying - the quietness in the mosque during Fajr and Asr - I love that. And I feel that those days carry special rewards. I want that chain mail terrorist to come, the one who threatened that he would kill everyone in the mosque, and everyone ran away except a few. Then he told the Imam to start the prayer. Today after walking out of the mosque, I felt that I was going to faint. I felt that I was becoming blind. I'm going crazy. Why Ramadan? I'm going to become a worse Muslim during Ramadan, not a better one... I know it. I'm better when no one's better. Their meat is my poison; my meat is their poison. HELP! How can I increase my faith and become a stronger Muslim this first Ramadan?